Monday, August 14, 2006

Cheney: vote for Republicans or else DIE! DIE! DIE!

Let's face it. The Scratching Post of all Scratching Posts, Dick Cheney should come out with a voter's guide that orders Americans to vote for certain candidate that only he approves of. It would be consistent with the utter contempt he holds for the average American voter. How else could he come out and basically imply that voting for Lamont was like exactly what Osama Bin Laden ordered? How else could he come out and say that the voters chose wrongly and pretty much enabled terrorism? How else could he come out and say we voted for the Al Qaeda ticket? (Didn't he say that if you voted for John Kerry, you would DIE in another terrorist attack and it would be well-deserved because you didn't follow Daddy Republican Warbucks' orders?)

It's so easy, all he has to do is make a voter form and photoshop the Democrat's head into that infamous picture of Rumsfeld shaking hands with Saddam. This would reinforce the myth that Iraq = Al Qaeda, Bin Laden = Saddam, Democrats = Al Qaeda that this administration is spewing out to the airwaves, to the unquestioning, subservient media.

But then again, would Americans be fooled by him again if he were to do such a despicable follow-up to his utter damnable commentary? After all, didn't we believe him when he said the insurgency was in its death throes a year ago and that Iraq could attack the United States with unmanned drones? So from now on, we should entrust our democracy to Cheney so perhaps they wouldn't have to tinker with Diebold machines to actually "win."

A party that cannot claim any significant victory on the "War on Terror" even though they would have loved to co-opt the credit the Brits got for foiling the latest credible terrorist plot (unlike these dream scenarios the administration comes up with) is now reduced to linking Iraq to Al Qaeda and insinuating that if you don't vote for Republicans, Osama will then target you for death and destruction.

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